What hoard would you have?
If there’s a dragon with a kitty hoard or a donut hoard, then yeah, those are me.
I would get along with all of these Dragon’s, they remind me so much of my friends (and myself on the whole panties thing)
Oh hell yeah, Sakke and Eris would be down for a hoard of video games
HOW WILL I DIE?
buried alive by the internet
Suffocated by life. Well, I am a pessimistic cynic, so…
FUCKED BY CAPITALISM OH MY GOD
lynched by juggalos….?
Buried alive by my family. I knew it….
"Fucked by the world we lived in." Eyep
Fellated by living. Hmm. C’mere, life, gimme a blowjob that’s to die for.
Stabbed by Everything … Hey guys, can we talk this out? Please? ;~;
LET’S DO A REVIEW OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH
WE GOT THIS SHIT AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT THANKS TO BERRY-SCENTED TUMBLR USER JENNYLOGGINS
I AM A HULKING, BURLY, MASCULINE MAN, SO USUALLY I USE OLD SPICE OR IRISH SPRING OR SOME MANLY SHIT LIKE THAT BUT TODAY I WAS OUT OF SOAP SO I USED THIS SHIT
FIRST OFF LET’S START WITH THE PACKAGING
THIS FUCKING RAINBOW-ASS UNICORN IS THERE IN THE SHOWER EVERY DAY, EVERY FUCKING DAY THIS LITTLE DUDE SITS THERE AND GIVES ME THAT SULTRY GAZE WHILE IM TRYING TO CLEAN MY VULNERABLE NAKED ASS
rub me on your body
ALSO IT’S WORTH NOTING THAT THIS SHIT COMES WITH A WARNING NOT ONLY TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN BUT THAT PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN CAN GIVE YOU RASHES AND PROBABLY UNICORN HERPES OR SOME OTHER SHIT
IDK ABOUT YALL BUT LAST I CHECKED THE EXACT PURPOSE OF BODY WASH IS PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN SO THAT RIGHT THERE WAS A RED FLAG BUT I PROCEEDED, ALBEIT WITH PROPER PRECAUTION AS TO AVOID APPLYING AROUND MY EYES AS DIRECTED BY THE PACKAGING OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. ALSO IT SAYS TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THEY ARE MARKETING THIS PRODUCT NOT FOR CHILDREN BUT FOR GROWN MEN SUCH AS MYSELF
I APPLIED A GENEROUS AMOUNT TO MY HANDS TO BEGIN THE CLEANING.
i’m so fucked up
AND THAT WAS WHEN THE MOST POTENT SMELL OF ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED BERRY I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE HIT ME LIKE A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE
I NEARLY FELL OVER IN THE SHOWER. IT WAS SO FUCKING BERRY. IT WAS LIKE I MADE SWEET LOVE TO AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC BERRY WOMAN AND DOVE NOSE-FIRST INTO HER GUSHING FRUITY LOINS. THERE WAS NO FURTHER DOUBT THAT THIS WAS INDEED LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. IT’S NO WONDER LISA FRANK’S ART IS ALL SO COLORFUL, SHE’S FUCKING HIGH AS BALLS HUFFING HER BERRY-ASS BODY WASH.
IT GOT ME CLEAN BUT I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM ALL THAT FUCKING BERRY. I UNDERSTAND THE WARNING LABEL NOW. THIS SHIT IS PROBABLY TOXIC TO SMALL CHILDREN, IT’LL BERRY THEIR FUCKING BRAIN CELLS TO DEATH. DO NOT TRUST THAT SULTRY UNICORN. YOU SEE THE MILKY WHITE COLOR IT’S PROBABLY HIS SPOOGE IN THAT BOTTLE IT’S NOT EVEN BODY WASH I JUST CLEANED MYSELF WITH BUBBLY BERRY UNICORN BATTER
0/10 WOULD NOT BERRY AGAIN
I FUCKING AM CHOKING AND PEEING AND DYING OF LAUGHTER I JUST FUCKING CAN’T RIGHT NOW. PLEASE REVIVE ME SWEET LORD.
This post is my life force
note to self: make an audio post of this
This has come up on my dash 3 times in 3 years and it’s just as good now as the first time.
no, but please, someone make an audio post of this
I will always love this post. Though that unicorn does make me think of this.
I’LL STEP UP TO THE OCHE! I’ll work on this audio post later tonight.
Please reblog or like if you feel a teacher’s negative behaviour towards you has ever brought your grade down or caused you to lose interest in a class.
This would really help me with a research project I’m starting.
Literally got failed out of a course in College because the teacher didn’t like me, and it was allowed. SO there’s some research fodder for ya.
What the actual fuck?? You have to pay to sit on a bench in public. The fuck. That’s creepy as hell.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?
"Hey guys, I have a great idea! Instead of solving the issues that create homelessness, like lack of affordable housing and low wages and no access to health care, let’s just put fucking spikes everywhere so that they now have no where at all to sleep and make people pay to sit on public benches!"
As someone who know what the homeless life is like (I stayed with my homeless friends for a week) shit like this makes me angry. Humanity is just sickeningly fucked up by looking at this alone. “I have money and a job, so I’m just gonna let the people who don’t have those privileges (and understand that having a job and a place to stay is a PRIVILEGE) have nowhere to lay their heads, and name it something completely fucking rude to single them out.” This is directed to all of the business owners/managers out there who support this: How about instead of shelling out money to sit on a bench, stop being a fucking stooge and use that money to hire some of these homeless people so that you can help not only one person, but the general economy. That’s right! By using your money to give other people jobs, you help the economy! However, I need to get back to the point of this. I agree with the comment above mine in that this money could have been used so much better.
I’m about have a fucking aneurysm if this page doesn’t load. By Ryan I MUST know what this is … I really hope it’s the reveal for the Good Apollo release. They said they were gonna remake them in their fullest.
The young boy nestled in his bed, enters another evening of sleep, the time at his school catching up to him. In his dreams he sees a barren landscape around him. Dust and dirt swirls in the distance from a getle and dry breeze.
“David? David Steele, is that your name?”
He turns around to see a familiar form. The protector of his hometown stands a distance away from him, the sapphire armor seemingly blurred across the chest. “Is that a yes?” he asks once more. “It is. What does it matter?” “Well, you did a good thing today. I wanted to congratulate you.” David simply cocked an eyebrow “What are you talking about?” The hero nodded and laughed a little “You see, when you killed Tetronus, you took up my mantle. You’re the new hero.” David shook his head, realizing it was a dream “You’re dead, how could you know about that?” The hero nodded to David’s suddenly heavy hand “That.”
David looked down to see that the steel colored counterweighted glaive in his bloodied hands.
In shock he dropped it and it clattered to the ground “The fuck?” He looked between his hands and his pants, and the blood was back on them. He made sure to clean it … It was only a dream, right? but the glaive held weight. It had to be a dream. The hero called out to him “This all must seem odd, but it’s the only way I can contact you, just as the one before me. This is a dream, yes, but it’s more real than you can imagine.” The hero held out a hand to the boy “My name is Dracillus. David, you have been blessed and cursed by the weapon. In your choice to kill Tetronus, you have been chosen by the weapon as a suitable master. It craves blood and you have given it what it wants.” David stared in disbelief at the outstretched hand, not wanting to believe anything.
"David, take my hand and you will understand, but you must not tell anyone of it, for it will be the end of you and the wielders. Trust me, please." David simply swallowed and reached out, and grasped the outstretched hand of Dracillus.
He jumped greatly as he saw that suddenly the hero was covered in the blood, as he looked at each stain, images flashed in his mind of how each respective stain was earned. He pulled back quickly, his hand burning intensely, and as he looked at it he saw in his mind’s eye the horrified image of the villain dying, the blood pouring from his chest. David began to shake his head, and started to yell as the pain increased. Amidst the din, he heard Dracillus call out “The suffering you bring will always be stay with you, only visible to you. Stay strong, David.”
David looked up to the hero and saw the suffering faces of those past, slain by the hero and the grief stricken hero’s face as the pain became too immense to bear, he blacked out in the dirt of the land.
ohmygosh you guys, the dawn room is the single best thing i’ve discovered on the Internet. If you feel at all crappy in any way, go on there right now. Seriously. Anything else you’re doing can wait.